A True Idiot

I've been seeing a physical therapist down here who I really like personally, and I think whatever she's doing is helping my hands somewhat.  Her name is Linda and we had a really interesting conversation on Saturday when she was manipulating my arms.  We were talking about religion and somehow our conversation got on Adolf Hitler.  She had a client, a very old woman, who was from Austria and she told her this story:  When she was a little girl, Hitler hadn't come into power yet but he was in Austria for some reason and he was up and coming in his political reign.  He came to visit her school one day,  and because she had blonde hair and blue eyes, the teacher picked her to give flowers to Hitler.  She told Linda that she remembers when she gave the flowers to him, that she looked into his eyes and became terrified and ran all the way home, crying into her mother's lap.  The story was fascinating to me because I can't get my mind around a person who was so evil as he was.  And even a child could sense that before he ever came into power. 

I have a weird interest with Hitler and everything he stood for.  When we were just kids in religious school, we were forced to watch film strips of the war and the hell Hitler created, with real-life images.  It scared the living daylights out of me at the time, and for years, I had nightmares that I was back in that time period, running for my life.  I can't imagine anything more horrifying than what those Jews and others went through.  And the brave souls who helped people escape brought that same horror into their own homes if they got caught.  I remember reading about Ann Frank in religious school and watching a film strip about her and that just added to my fears.  So now, as an adult, I have a fascination to visit a concentration camp to actually see and feel that in person, but I am also scared to death to do it.  I've heard that there were so many people that were burned to death at one of the camps, there is a mist or something in the air that still exists today from all the ash from the dead bodies. 

My parents used to know a couple who were in a concentration camp and had numbers branded on their arms to prove it.  I was too young at the time to really understand that when I met them.  I don't think I have any relatives that went through it - they had come over to the United States before World War II, thankfully.  I've heard about some idiot who is a professor at Northwestern University in Evanston, Illinois, that proclaims that this portion of history never happened.  That's ridiculous to me.  How can he, and others, proclaim that when it happened to millions of people?  Now, that man is a true idiot.

I've been sleeping a lot lately and I think partly it's because of the medication I take and partly because the weather has been so gloomy.  Yesterday was a beautiful day and I was in the pool a good portion of the day -- but it has been really dreary here for the most part.  I also miss my grandkids really bad.  I miss Shanti telling me long stories with no beginning and no end; I miss Donovan talking and now I finally can understand what he's saying, for the most part; and I miss Jade's smile and laugh.  I also miss Tay Tay and Shania - two of the neatest kids around, and I'm proud to be their grandma too. My grandkids are truly the light of my life. 

I have to keep reminding myself why I am here.  My parents need me and I need to be here, and yet it's so hard being so far away from my kids and grandkids.  But then, I learned a long time ago that nothing worthwhile is ever easy or convenient.  And so I need to make the best of the situation and remember why I'm here.