I'm a naturally curious person. I like to hear what others think about, what they like and don't like and what their lives are all about. I hate those emails where people tell 10 or 20 things about themselves, but the questions are dumb, like who cares if you like chocolate or vanilla, or Coke or Pepsi? I like to learn more about people by listening to their actual stories. You learn a lot, not only about the person who's talking, but also about life itself.
So I was thinking today of writing 10 things you may or may not know about me. Some of you may not care at all and that's fine. This is not for everyone. But because I like stuff that you don't have to rack.your brain over, allow me to entertain myself and possibly you.
1. You might find this ironic, but I hate to read. I really do. I'm sure I had ADD as a kid so it's also carried on with me as an adult, and I find it incredibly difficult to even re-read these blogs to check for grammatical errors. I do, of course, but it's hard. It's weird that I can write fairly well, but can hardly read a lick. The only book I do read, and that is in small portions, is the Bible. I read different stuff people put online or online news, things like that, but I think, besides the Bible, I've only read one or two books all the way through. I have read the Bible a few times all the way through, but it was more for a discipline than for the enjoyment of a novel or such. Yeah, I know it's lame, but this is the truth.
2. I would rather listen than talk. My mind gets all jumbled up when I have good or interesting thoughts in it, and then when I try to express myself, I usually sound like a blithering idiot. I don't know if it's all the drugs I take every day (approximately 15), or getting old, or that I'm just not a good speaker. I actually enjoy listening to others, to hear what they say and talk about how they feel. I do not like when someone monopolizes the conversation, though - that irritates the heck out of me. When that happens, I will either exit the situation or turn my attention toward someone else.
3. Today is my birthday and I am 56. And this is really hard for me to believe. I mean, my physical body feels older than that, but my mind is still stuck at 17. Wow, wouldn't that be cool if my physical body and my mind were in sync - I would have a blast! But alas, that's not the case and so I live with what I have. I'm actually more content now than I've ever been in my life, and that's saying a lot. So getting old doesn't have to be such a drag, although it is in some ways. It's all in the way you look at it, and right now, I'm very content.
4. I love to eat and I hate to diet, much to my mother's chagrin. That wouldn't be a shock to anyone who has ever known me. I've dieted my whole life and my weight goes up and down and up and down, like a huge yo-yo. This is a real drag, because I love food. I'm convinced I'm addicted to food. Not that that is a horrific thing. Much better than cigarettes, alcohol or crack. But still is a problem, especially for my mother. I am getting bolder though, as I will eat a donut right in front of her now. Believe me - that's a major event. I just don't look at her and I'm fine. The Butterfingers are still stashed away quietly in my dresser drawer, just in case, however. That might just put her over the edge if she knew they were there.
5. I love my children and my grandchildren and miss them more than I can say. Now if you know me at all, you'll know this is the absolute truth. My grandchildren are the light of my life. I smile the whole time I'm with them, as they bring me so much joy. Ashanti and I are very close and I miss that. She is getting so big, soon she'll be 7. Time goes too fast. Donovan finally started coming to me and is very loving. He likes to keep my attention by calling my name over and over. I love it. And Jade is just a little pistol. She has big brothers to look up to and romp with and she will be well able to take care of herself in the end. I miss snuggling with her and letting her fall asleep in my arms. I wish Micah and Jasmine were closer because I only get to see them once, maybe twice a year, which isn't enough. Jason, Leah and Parris are closer and I'm looking forward to seeing them in a few weeks when I go to Madison. I'm not used to having my family so far from me and I don't like it. In fact, I hate it. But God knows and He's in control and I trust Him.
6. I am in pain 24 hours a day, literally. Even in my sleep, I wake up to switch sides as my hands are continually falling asleep. I get tired of talking about it, but it's the truth. I take so many medicines, including pain meds, and I'm still in pain. Constant pain. It's the weirdest thing if you've never experienced it. The only time it lets up is when I am in the pool. There, my hands are ok and I can float and move my body with such ease. But I can't live in the pool, as much as I would like to. I'm very much a water person, but when the water is cold, it turns me off. And it's starting to get a bit colder down here, so I won't be able to use the pool as much. Cold water goes through me like electricity - I can't handle it. I'm learning to live with this pain, because there's really nothing else I can do. I cannot remember the last time I wasn't in pain, it's been that long ago.
7. I hate prejudice, egotistical and prideful people. Well, I shouldn't say "hate." You really shouldn't hate anyone, but I find these types very annoying and for the most part, stay clear of them. So if you happen to be in any of those categories, you'll know why I avoid you.
8. I value friendship and love above all. I found out what true friendship and love was when I was in the mental hospital. I learned a lot about relationships there and it has helped me all of my adult life. Not that I've always chosen the best people to be around. And there were times when I had to be pryed away from a few of them by my children or really good friends. But all in all, I look at the person's character and quickly decide whether we would be a good match, so to speak. Not everyone can be friends. But I have been blessed with many diverse friends, all of whom I enjoy in one way or the other. Without friends and love, life must be a most dismal place to be.
9. I used to love to sing, but have a hard time even talking now because of chronic laryngitis. It really aggravates me. If I talk too long, which isn't long, I lose my voice. I used to love to sing in church, and I actually frequently sang solos -- which always scared me to death. But I loved it so much, that I would push past my fears and do it anyway. I miss that, but now I can't even get through a song without losing my voice completely, so in church I will sing for awhile, then hum or mouth the words the rest of the time. I actually think I destroyed my vocal cords so many years ago, yelling at my kids. That's what I get...
10. I love Jesus Christ with all my heart, soul, mind and body, even though I was born and raised a Jew. And there will be many of you who don't understand this, and that's ok. All you have to do is ask me sometime and I can give you a clear idea of what I believe, if you don't know already. We may not agree on moral values, lifestyles or religious views, but I can tell you, that I love you just the same. You wouldn't be my friend, and probably not be reading this, otherwise. I can tell you that God has helped and guided me all of my life, but it wasn't until about 31 years ago that I actually recognized this. And it hasn't been the same ever since. If you think that I can raise three children alone to be respected and well-adjusted adults, you're wrong. It was only with the help of Jesus that I was able to do that and still keep my sanity. Aren't you at all curious? Man, I would be!
So there you have it - me in a nutshell. It could appear to be pretty arrogant to talk only about yourself in a blog, but I hope it doesn't come across that way. I wrote it for my behalf as well, because sometimes I need to stop and check and make sure I'm living the way I profess to be living. And if you are ever curious about anything I am about, please ask. I'm basically an open book. An open book who doesn't much read...
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