Well, things have changed and my mom is coming home this Sunday - two days away. That gives my dad and I a very short period of time to get rid of all the "fattening" and "you-don't-need-those" goodies we have lying around, out of the house - either in the garbage or in our bellies. That also means that I have to clean up a bit, do the laundry and sheets and get her bedroom in order before then. I wanted her to come home after I got back from Madison, but their insurance won't cover her stay any longer.
Last night, my mom and dad got into an ugly argument at the nursing home. It was kind of bizarre and both of them appeared wrong, as well as childish, in my opinion. It's clear she doesn't want to come home and it's also clear the dementia is kicking in. Danny thinks that when she gets home, that will get better since she'll be in familiar surroundings. I'm not so sure. She doesn't want to come home because she doesn't want to deal with my dad without me being there. I told her, "Well, you can't just live here." She has to come home and deal with everything, whatever that means for her. I'm just worried about what will happen when I'm in Madison. I can see them both getting into it in an ugly way. I just don't want each of them hurting themselves by either falling or my dad's blood pressure shooting up. I didn't know their communication, or lack of, was this bad. My dad tries to help her, she doesn't want his help and gets mad and snaps at him, and he backs off in anger. All I could do was sit there and watch this, as there were other people in the room and I didn't know what to say. Too bad lightening didn't strike the building right at that moment like it did last Monday.
We were sitting in the lobby of the nursing home when a storm rolled in and lightening directly struck the building, right where we were sitting. We all jumped, the phone was knocked out for a bit, the lights went off and on, some warning siren went on and wouldn't go off and the fire alarm was activated and went on and off. It was crazy. I guess Florida is known as "Lightening Alley," per my dad. I didn't know that, so now when I'm in the pool and it starts thundering, I'm outta the water real fast. The weird thing about Florida weather is that one half of the sky can be cloudy, thundering, lightening and raining and the other side is a clear blue sky with the sun shining. The weather is very schizophrenic here. If you wait a few minutes, it always changes.
Speaking of the oddities of Florida, I got an instant message on Facebook the other day from a friend, telling me that she saw on the news that a lady in Tampa found a 4 foot alligator in her swimming pool. Good grief! I told my kids that that was possible! Albeit, it was only 4 feet long, and the ones I've seen in the canal are much bigger than that, it still leaves me uncomfortable swimming in the evening or night when it seems more likely they come out of their hiding places because it's dark. I know they're God's creatures, but they are terribly disgusting. I usually don't keep my back to the canal when I'm in the pool - just in case. I've pictured one running in back of me and grabbing my head in his giant mouth, dragging me back down to the water. It's my over-active imagination again, I know. But still...
To be honest, what worries me about my mom is the dementia. I really don't know how to deal with that. I've heard that you talk and treat the patient at the "age level" they're acting, but that's gotta be very weird. I mean, here is my mom who gave birth to and raised me and now in most ways, our relationship has reversed and I am the caretaker and she is the child. Well, not really, but you know what I mean. That's very uncomfortable for me. Especially since my relationship with her hasn't been the greatest all these years. I know it's time now for me to mend it, and I have been in the process of doing just that -- but I would much rather have her still be the mom and me just be the kid - no matter how old we are. And I suppose everyone in the world who's ever experienced this has wished the same thing. It makes me really sad, truthfully. It means an era is slowly coming to an end.
So when my parents pass away, that means my brothers and I must step up to the plate and we become "next." We become the elderly, frail and perhaps sick people my parents are now. And when we pass away, then our kids step up to the plate and they become "next." It's just the natural progression of life. And I know that logically; it just makes me sad emotionally...
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