Sometimes a simple conversation like the one I had the other day, jars me back into the past and reminds me of all the mistakes I've made, as well as the ones I didn't realize I made. Some mistakes are done and over with and affect no one but me. And then there are those that are never over with, but lie in the hearts and minds of others. I wish that I could somehow erase all those hurts I have caused others, as well as the hurts that were caused to me, but of course, I can't. Maybe that's why most people as they age become wiser - ever learning over mistakes that have been made. It's a constant growing process that is many times painful along the way, yet we keep plodding on. There is no other option but to keep learning, growing and changing. It becomes worthwhile if we do actually change. It's pointless if we don't. I suspect that if and when I reach a ripe old age, I will finally stop making mistakes and live the rest of my days without hurting or being hurt. But then, who knows.... I may just not live that long...
I'm back in Florida and have to say that I had a good time in Madison with my friends and family. I got a lot of paperwork and appointments taken care of so I feel good about that. And of course I got to see my children and grandchildren and that makes me very happy indeed. Several weeks ago, I entered into this contest to win a home and a car and lots of money on HGTV, and I was so hoping to win it. It's in Utah, but it's so big that my children, grandchildren and parents could all come and live with me and we would live happily ever after. I thought, so what if it is a 1 in 20 million chance to win? I could be that 1! Well, of course it was nice day dreaming, but the only thing I've ever won was through a grocery store a long time ago, and it was a water board. I had no idea how to use it, so I sold it. When the representative called me from the store and told me that I had won the water board, I said, "Yeah, right. Who is this really? Who put you up to this?" He said, "Uh, maam, this is Bob and I'm the store manager for Copps and you really did win this water board." Then I probably turned 10 shades of red because I remembered putting my name in the box at the store. When I went to pick the thing up at the store the next day, it wouldn't fit in the car - it had to hang out the window. So I drove home with this contraption hanging out of my car window and schlepping it into the house. "Now what do I do with this?" I thought. I really had no idea how to use it, but since "Bob" told me it was worth $500, I put an ad in the paper and sold it for a little less. That was my one and only win that I can remember.
For some reason it reminds me of "Queen for a Day," which was a television show back in the 50's and 60's. I remember watching it as a little girl and being enthralled by it. For those of you who are not familiar, this is how the show went: There were several ladies who came on the show and each told the announcer their sad story of woe. Each story was worse than the other and there was this arrow-thing, an applause meter, that moved from low to high when the studio audience clapped. So the more dramatic the story, the more the audience clapped and the arrow would move, sometimes all the way to the other side of the board. Well, after all the ladies told their stories, and after the arrow did it's thing, the announcer would have the ladies stand on the stage and announce the winner. The announcer named the winner and brought out a royal crown, a dozen roses and royal robe for the "Queen for a Day" to wear, as "Pomp and Circumstances" played. She of course was crying the whole time and thanking everyone. She won whatever the need was for her family, like a refrigerator or stove or just cash. Anyway, like I said, I've never won anything worthwhile.
Going back to the beginning about mistakes - I made a mistake. It's not, "pointless if we don't change." It's tragic if we don't.
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