My dog, Kita, has a fetish for dirty tissues. She will grab them when you turn the other way, out of the garbage can or if they are neglectfully left on a side table. She chews them apart before you can count to one and digests some of it. I see pink and white in her poop all the time. I don't know why she loves this so much, but it drives me crazy. All the garbage cans in the house have to sit up on counters or on chairs, even the ones with lids. She will knock a can over to get inside and she will chew on the ends of garbage bags so those have to be put out right away. I bought her a new, cute little collar with a charm on it today, very feminine, hoping she would act that way too. Alas, she has not.
She will stand, in all her glory, looking at me and bark her head off. I don't know what she wants so I tell her to shut up. But when she won't, I get up and walk with her and she is trying to tell me she's out of food or water. She's a very intelligent dog, with an unintelligent owner. So I fill her dishes with food and water and go back to my room. Last night, I told her it was time for bed, so we prepared to go to bed. When I finally laid down, I stretched out and she stood up on the bed and barked at me. I angrily yelled at her to shut up, and because she wasn't lacking in anything and because she knew momma was mad, she laid down next to me and went to sleep.
Now when I was raising my kids and they went to the Christian School, they got demerits for saying "Shut up." It was like cursing, I guess, but that's how I was raised. My father told us to "shut up" all the time, so I never thought of it being wrong. But then he also told us we were "idiots" all the time too. "Shut up, you idiot" was a common sentence when we were growing up. I actually never thought I was an idiot, but I never thought of myself as being smart either. I was about C average my whole life, except for some subjects which I hated and then I got D's and even F's. I hated school. The only part I liked about it was art class and hanging out with my friends. Other than that, I barely made it through.
I took my whole junior year in the hospital, and cheated the whole way through it. The staff made it very easy to cheat because they would always leave the room when we had tests, and I would go to the teacher's desk and copy the answers down from his answer sheet. I, in fact learned nothing my whole junior year. That was the year I had to learn about government and politics and all of that. I hated politics then and I still hate it, so really it was no loss.
When I got out of the hospital, my parents put me in a school for "emotionally-problem children" and I took my whole senior year there. That was a breeze because I got to pick the subjects and I picked art, of course, and English. As I remember, there were only two subjects the whole year. I received my high school diploma from this school and I learned very little there as well, although I loved art class and I learned how to write better in English. And of course I got to hang out with all of the other emotionally-problem children there who became my friends. The school was a cool, old mansion in Chicago near the lake and the little yellow school bus would pick me up every day. Yeah, I was one of the mentals on the little yellow school bus. For some reason, though, I was never embarrassed about it. My attitude was if you didn't like it, let's fight about it. I had so much pent up anger inside of me, I never really hurt anyone, but I was very capable of it.
Now Kita is eating. She takes one morsel of food and runs to the carpeting, sits down and munches on the one morsel. She likes to eat in comfort. She does this until all her food is gone. She's a very strange dog. In a few minutes, she will stand in front of me and bark because she will want to jump up on my lap. She's quite demanding. But I can't hold her and type at the same time, so she will just have to wait. Or I have to hurry. Probably the latter because she wasn't born with a lot of patience. But then, neither was I...
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