Short True Story

My parents' neighbor and friend came over last night and we all talked for awhile.  Her name is Mrs. Crowe and I say "Mrs. Crowe," because we were taught as kids to call all adults Mr. or Mrs. so and so - never by their first name.  I guess it was ok to call them by their first name if they weren't married - I don't remember that.  So it's still ingrained in me to use these titles, but there's really nothing wrong with it - I actually think it can be respectful.  Anyway, she told us a true story that I thought was entertaining, and I imagine it wasn't at the time, but I want to re-tell it now for your amusement.  Besides, you don't know these people so no one will ever know the difference.

We'll call them Ed and Zelda.  They were neighbors of my parents for many years.  Ed was practically deaf and you had to really shout in his face for him to hear you.  One day, he was having a conversation with another almost-deaf neighbor and neither one of them could hear what the other one was saying, but they both had a complete conversation anyway.  Zelda was a weird, but nice lady according to my dad.  He really liked her, so that says something about her.

Mrs. Crowe was telling us that Ed died before Zelda.  Mrs. Crowe knew them very well because she was their guardian.  Zelda was kind of nuts and Ed couldn't hear, so the combination was a mess.  So when Ed died, Mrs. Crowe went to the funeral home on the day of the funeral and brought Zelda with her before the visitation.  Ed was lying in the casket as most dead people do.  Zelda came by his casket and yelled, "That's not my Ed!  I know what MY Ed looks like, and that's not him!"  Mrs. Crowe looked in the casket and sure enough, it wasn't Ed, but someone who looked like him.  She hurried over to the funeral director and told him the situation and he was moritifed.  Apparently, there were two dead bodies at the hospital and they sent the wrong one.  The other man, who would be Ed, was cremated.  So the guy in the casket was some unknown person.  I was dying laughing at this point.  Mrs. Crowe said that there wasn't a thing they could do, so they went ahead with the funeral, pretending it was Ed in the casket.  Zelda must have forgotten that it wasn't Ed, because as the priest and the funeral director were bringing her into the ceremony, she screamed out, "Ed, you $#*&@%!  Why did you die before me??"  At that point, I couldn't stop laughing - I pictured it all and I thought it was hysterical.  So Mrs. Crowe said that some unknown guy is buried in Ed's burial plot, and then Zelda passed away, so she is next to him. 

 Wow - you can't make this stuff up.