Decisions

I refuse to eat the peanut butter that we have in the house, because my dad insists on scooping it out with his knife and licking it off. I told him that was disgusting and he just laughs with his mouth wide open and peanut butter stuck to his tongue. When we were kids, he would drink the milk from the milk bottle and put it back in the refrigerator. I thought it was cool that he could do that, but we couldn't. He also used to sit down with a half-gallon box of ice cream and eat right out of it. My dad was really lucky, as far as I was concerned.


I didn't know about germs then, but now, I'm a bit of a freak when it comes to some germs. Like, I don't allow anyone, not even Shanti, to drink from the same bottle, can or glass that I'm drinking from because I just find that gross. I suppose if I were in the desert or on a deserted island and I had to share my drink with another person, I would. But that would be the only exception.


The past few days I've been thinking about how long I should actually be here.  After much thought and prayer, I decided to see how things go after the month I will be gone in December/January.  If my parents do ok, I decided to switch this around and be in Madison full time, but go to my parents for a couple weeks at a time when I'm needed.  I discussed this with them and they seem to be just fine with it.  My mom appeared to be a little apprehensive about it, but she said that was fine, that she knows I miss my kids and grandkids and she understands.  The fact is, she is doing much better.  She needs to, however, get over her fear of falling.  She uses the wheelchair most of the time because she's afraid to fall, but she should be using her walker more.  She has many friends who live on the same street or who she can call to help her with small things she can't do or go to the grocery store or pharmacy for them.  And they both have that necklace thing that if you push it, it calls emergency.  She's a long way from where she was when I first got here.  It's hard to believe I've been here nearly 6 months.


I told them both that neither one of them should drive.  My dad can't see past his nose and besides that, he has road rage, and with both combined, he is a lethal weapon.  My mom can see but she's confused most of the time and has given me the wrong direction now more than one time.  I end up going miles out of the way when she tells me where to go, and getting frustrated because she simply doesn't remember where places are at.  They don't use a cell phone, so I fear she would get lost and simply not know what to do.  So I will be talking to a few of her friends to offer their assistance with grocery shopping and going to Walgreens.  Those are really the only places they go.  Last time we went shopping, she nearly knocked down a tall display by backing up and going forward in the same place.  I had to go back and tell her to turn the handle so she could clear it.  She was clearly frustrated and embarrassed, and I shouldn't have laughed, but it really was funny watching her contine to bash into the food display.


What will I do and where will I go when I go back home?  Well, Leah wants me to stay with her and so Shanti and I would share her room, which I will love.  It will be tight quarters but as long as I keep my opinions to myself, we'll get along just fine.  I'm looking forward to being with my grandchildren more often, as I really miss them.  Living with old people who can't hear and don't do or go anywhere, becomes a bit depressing at times.  I can only listen to the Military Channel so much, then I become nauseated.  I know I was supposed to come here when I did, and I knew I would know when it was time to go back home.  After next month, it will be the determining factor to see if my parents will be able to get along without me for longer periods of time.  I really wish they would consider assisted living, but they refuse to leave their home.  I understand that, but at some point, they will probably have no other choice.

In the meantime, Bob and Eun will have to learn once again how to live with each other alone in the house.  I think they'll be fine, as long as they behave themselves.